He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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