Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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