Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
