it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dicks are not precious.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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