i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
