You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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