You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
