Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
