So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
