somebody snuck up and got me drunk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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