someone threw a dead crab at me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
