you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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