In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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