I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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