i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
