she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize