I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
