Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The air was thick with penises
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
