so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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