It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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