fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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