she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
