Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
