Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
