just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
