Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
