i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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