I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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