we have pet lesbian snakes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
