Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
