Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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