Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
