She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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