how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
