the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
