she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
