I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
