sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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