I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize