I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
