Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Where is the hickey?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
