Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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