In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
