you turned your livingroom into a bong?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
