The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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