I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
