I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
