i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
