Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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