so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
