I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
