oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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