TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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